


I wish you happiness

by CMDAK, zerozerokyu



Series: Kill/Resurrect [1]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Alec just want to shower in peace, Explosions, Gen, How Do I Tag, I Tried, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Q miss James, Sad Q, tie pin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 07:05:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14159430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMDAK/pseuds/CMDAK, https://archiveofourown.org/users/zerozerokyu/pseuds/zerozerokyu
Summary: It was supposed to be just a quiet day in Q-branch. Q wants to work on his projects but the attack on MI6 changed everything.Writer note: Remember to click the link I placed in the fic for a song. And do read the lyrics if you want to see what I was going for.





	I wish you happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Hey this is for my March challenge for MI6 Cafe on Tumblr for Kill/Resurrect. Me being the killer. I hope you will like this fic. Do remeber to go listen to the song called Blue Eye Blue!!! Link is in the story.

Q rubs his tired eyes as he continue shuffling through more files on his cluttered shelves. He took quick glances at the tracker program on James. The screen flash with a red dot on the map, his heartbeat,profile and vital signs on display at the side. James’ blue eyes stared right back at him. 

 

_ Vienna,Austria. _

 

Q’s face morphed into a frown as he zoomed in to look at the exact location. He missed him greatly and at times wondered if James would ever come back. He knows he is being silly for checking up on James when he had made it clear he will not be back while taking the car. Q takes a sip from his now cold tea and peeks out of his office.

 

It is the early morning of Sunday and he has been in for twenty two hours. Q looks out of his office to the morning shift minions streaming in. Q allows himself to smile at all the bright eyed minions who are chatting away about new ideas they have while the skeleton crew yawns as they shuffle off. Some of them taking muffins and drinks offered by the morning shift minions. He just hopes the day will run smoothly with no hiccups and that it will be a productive one too. MI6 is nearly empty for the weekends and the halls are errie with the lack of activity. Only a few who need to get work done come back, but Q-branch is still in full swing with their workers preferring to be here than taking the weekends off.

 

Q turns back to remove a few files he has to look through some design sketches.He pulls out some files from his cluttered shelves and one slips off from the pile. It tumbles down in a cascade of papers as it flutters down to the floor. Q rushes in an attempt to catch all the papers and his hands stop as he freezes on the spot. He is now staring at the blueprint of an Aston Martin he was planning to build Bond. His heart aches from the sight of it. Memories of his feelings, the tears he shed on all those lonely nights and the short moments of happiness he had when James was around him all came rushing back to him. It hurts and he could feel his chest tighten from all those emotions hitting him at once. 

 

A soft knock on his door before R pops her head in “Hey Q. You going to work on the tracking device again?” R held up a petri dish. 

 

Q’s head whipped back to see R and his eyes widen as he scrambled to clear the papers on the floor. R walks in and kneels down to help him clear the scattered papers and she sighs as he held up some papers to read through them.

 

“Q, when are you planning to throw away that file built for Bond? And when are you planning to announce that your tracker prototype is working perfectly well and that 007 is the first person with your tracker?”

 

Q blinks cluelessly at the question. “I am not throwing away the designs I made even if Bond is no longer around. And how do you know it is working?!”

 

R simply pointed to his screen.

 

“Q, I am your second in command and I have seen you grow from a young boffin to the quartermaster. I know you have been checking on him.”  Her voice made it clear that she wished she didn't have to tell him this.

 

Q let out a sad sigh as he rubbed his tired eyes that were threatening to tear up from emotions. “I know R. I know it is wrong to love him this much but I can’t help it.”

 

He placed the papers down and exhale before  gripping the front of his shirt.  _ ‘I’m such an idiot for loving him.’ _  Q chided himself. Even though several months had passed since James left with Dr Swann , Q still missed him His heart felt empty without James appearing once in a while to haunt Q-branch. He missed seeing him prowling through MI6 and scaring the minions half to death by creeping up on them. He also missed their bantering and the late night mission conversations they had about everything under the sun.He treasured those days greatly, but all the feelings behind those conversations proved to be  one sided by James walking away with many different beautiful creatures each time. Compared to all those James dated, Q was just a wallflower; he simply existed, but was never admired for his beauty. Q felt bitter, he wanted more.

 

_ Why would I think he’d choose me when he can have any beautiful people in the world? _

 

Q could feel tears well up in his eyes. He felt so used and unwanted. Q’s pain and anguish were the price for his stupidly loving Bond. He got hurt for wanting more than just friendship, if James even considered him a friend. Q was no longer sure what he was to James from all the mixed signals he got from the agent.

 

Q subconsciously reached for his tie pin and he stroked the silver head in a shape of a stag. It was his favourite and he would always be seen with it. Having it on him made him feel at ease, like a familiar touch to ground him when things get bad. 

 

R pulls him into a tight hug. “Q, you gotta get over him. He is not worth it. He is known as a Casanova for a reason. Many have tried before you to change him and all of them wound up dead. You are too bright and full of love to waste it on him. Promise me you will try to forget him, it might hurt but you are stronger than this, my dear boy.”

 

“I will.” Q promised with a nod. He felt happy to have R who was very much like an older sister to him even with their slight age difference.

 

“Sir, we need you at the bullpen. There is an abnormality in the system.” A minion at his door took his attention back to the present. Q picked himself off the floor and signaled R to follow.

 

Q sprints back to his station and checked. The alarm started to sound in the branch not too long after he reached the station.  It might be a false positive when the system had been tripped by accident. They have to be sure it is not a false alarm they act on it. Q’s fingers flew across the keyboard as he pull up different codes to watch for anomalies in their cyber security, his eyes scanning all the different windows projected on the big screen. Before he could type one more lines into the system, an explosion rocked the place. The tremor of the explosion vibrates through the branch.

 

Everyone’s held on to the nearest surface as the vibration settles down. Q scans at the next screen for the video feed where an explosion was detected.Q watched in horror as the video feed show mens storming into the East wing. It is impossible for anyone to make it into this part of the building without authorization unless… 

 

Q rapidly types in different lines of codes as he barked out commands to his branch to put MI6 under lock down. 

 

“Put MI6 on lock down.No one is getting in or out of here until the threat is eliminated. R, summon every single one of the agents in the building. The west wing is still not taken, get them here as fast as they can and make them leave the building. We need to hold down the fort until more backup is here. You! Minions send out as many distress signals as you can, MI6 is under attack. Backup all the programs and codes and shut them up in the safe. All the files and logs goes in that safe. Go go go!” He shouted as everyone started to scurry away to their stations.

 

Most of their best agents are off on mission and MI6 is highly unprotected at this time. He need to find the mole as fast as possible and their reason for the attack.

 

_ ‘Where is Alec when we  _ **_need_ ** _ to blow shit up.’  _ Q swore in his brain as he continue checking and hoping there will be responds for help.

 

The branch is a frenzy of activities. Everyone is doing their part to lock down the building. Even with their combined work it is a losing battle with different areas being taken and visible cameras being shot out. Their enemy is trying to blind them. They need a man inside to access the situation. R is doing a great job of gathering all the available agents into a section to be sent down to the branch. Plenty of agents responded to the distress signal. Gun fire was exchanged as the agents made their way to Q-branch. 

 

****

 

Meanwhile in the other side of MI6 in the shower room another fight is going on with Alec Trevelyan engaging in a four way fight. Blood was spilled and teeth was broken as the taller agent threw another punch into the attacker face as he held his ground. Sometimes he wonder if he will ever have a day where he can have a shower in peace instead of fighting people yet again in the nude.  _ ‘I guess I will go down swinging.’  _ Alec though as he deliver another blow, knocking the second gunman down to the ground, his gun falling to the floor. Alec continue his flight to take down the other man when gun fire went off, echoing in the shower room. The bullet hit the tile wall, Alec yank his towel off his waist and wrapped it around the shooter’s hand and yanked off the gun before he end the entire fight by shooting all the three unfortunate men in their heads. 

 

“Ah fuck. They just have to attack on a bloody weekend don’t they? Here I am hoping to have a day off and now I have a graze on my shoulder.” Alec whines and wipe the blood trickling from his wound. 

 

Another gun fire could be heard until Eve appears at the door. Her eyebrow went up when she saw his state of undress.

 

"Do you agents even have a single bone of embarrassment left in that body or did they break it out of you? Wait… Don’t answer that." 

 

Alec grins as he get dressed. Eve peers from the corner checking to make sure the coast is clean.

 

“We are under attack it seem. Hell of a moment to attack HQ” Alec peer down at the dead bodies and pulling out items to check. Nothing to show identifications could be found on the body but from the weapons and the level of fighting skills this men show they must be either profissional for hire or part of another organization that want to take MI6 down. 

 

“I noticed. I just hope M is fine. They took the building when I just got back from coffee.” Eve took the gun Alec passed her. 

 

Alec motion for her to follow as they dash across to a locker room. Alec yank open his locker and pulled out an earpiece and connect to Q-branch. He prayed hard it will be a secure line and no one have taken communication down.

 

“Q. Q do you hear me? Q-branch this is 006. Is anyone there. I repeat, Is anyone there?” Alec cocked his gun and tilt his head to show Eve which direction he wants to head to.

 

He kept his gun poised as they slowly creep from their current location, the best course of action now is to get M and hopefully everyone out as soon as possible but he will need the eyes and ears of Q-branch to do so. The earpiece in his ear kept beeping and with every single beep Alec’s heart sank. He might have to go in blind and hope to come back out alive. Alec does not fear death but he fear watching those he care for suffer. 

 

“006. This is Q, I hear you loud and clear. Get M out of here safely. Get as much people to Q-branch as possible.” a voice came to live in his ear piece as Eve fired shots.

 

“Copy that.” 

 

“Eve, Q…”

 

Before he could finish his line Eve shot right pass his shoulder into the shoulder of the approaching enemy. He fell with a groan and Eve just shrug her shoulder.

 

“I was busy and you seem like you are distracted to watch your own butt. What were you saying?” Eve grins.

 

“Q want us to get M and as many people as possible to Q-branch.” Alec recounted what Q saids as kicked away the gun from the injured man’s hand.

 

Alec pulled his up from the collar and punched the injured man, “Who are you and who do you work for. Tell me now!”

 

The man gave a bloody grin and spat at him. “You will never know.”

 

Alec pressed down on the bullet wound. “Maybe you want to talk now?”

 

The man screams in agony as pressure was put on the wound, pushing the bullet deeper into his shoulder. He pales and started howling out names. “Spectre! I work for Spectre.”

 

Eve frown and make a fake disgust look at Alec who continue smiling as he added more force before he let go. “Not that hard isn’t it?” Alec question before he put a bullet into the man’s head. He have no use for him and he now have information he needs. A dead man is better than a living man who can spread information, he is an agent first and he prefer to have no loose ends especially in situation now. 

 

“Q, our old friend Spectre is back.” He inform Q who is listening into the entire fight.

 

****   
  


“Q, our old friend Spectre is back.” echos Alec’s voice in the branch. A few gasp while other quickly spread the information to keep Blofeld’s cell secured.

 

Q watches the occurrence above ground from the big screen as he does his best to keep the defences up. He key in codes to shut off areas and blew up sewage pipes to confuse the attackers.

 

He need to get M out. Spectra is here for Blofeld and they will not stop until they get him. Q cursed at himself for not preventing this take over before it was too late.  _ I have messed up yet again. Skyfall and now this.  _ He felt helpless to do much as their defences were broken down strategically, his suspicion of a mole has become more solid. Q kept his suspicion to himself as he kept his watch, he is thinking through all the people that is possible candidates. 

 

R meanwhile is instructing all the minion to pack up all the sensitive items. Minion at the side sending out informations and guiding agents in the building as they fight off the intruder. All doing their best to keep MI6 standing as long as they could. A minion winces at the scene of an agent blowing the brain out of the enemy. Another who is new to all of this end up throwing up seeing death for the first time.

 

“I’m not ready for this.”, groan the poor minion who promptly gotten sick again.R gives her a sympathetic look before she start barking out orders again. 

 

“Q, they are moving too fast for us to do much. They are going to out number us.” came a voice of an agent as she shot a few more round. From the camera feed she is slowly being pushed back back into a corner by the mercenaries . 

 

“Shoot, Q I am out of ammunition.” before her vital signs went flat with the sound of a gun fire.

 

Everyone’s face pales. Another agent dead as Spectra push deeper into the building. They need to move fast if they even want to get out of here alive.

 

Q pulls out a screen to watch M’s level it is littered with bodies and the wall covered with bullet holes, they are moving towards his office and Q prays hard his interference with the security will buy more time before the men reach M. R taps in to Alec. “Alec hurry up and bring M here. They are pushing in fast.”

 

Q-branch came to an halt, everyone’s heartbeat race as they watch the screen. The enemy is breaking into the office as they shoot down the door to M’s office. Minions gasp when the room blew up. 

 

****

 

M is ready. He is ready for the attack when the alarm went off. His heart initially sank when he heard the dreaded alarm that Q-branch set off. It is the worst scenario to be in but he plans to stay alive. He rigged his office to blow with  trip wire and he pick up his guns to leave. He knows that the first thing anyone will do is to take him hostage. His first priority is to sat alive.

 

He peeks from the corner of the wall. The coast is clear. He sprint across to the next place of cover to wait. Footsteps could be heard. M slows his breathing down and readies himself. He countdown to the time til the enemy will reach his point. Once he is sure the enemy is near his spot he jolt up to shoot to come face to face with a barrel of a gun. He stops himself before he pulled the trigger,eyes widens to see Eve and Alec. Eve slowly lower her gun that is pointed at her boss’ head.

 

“Bloody hell M! You could have killed us both. Put the gun down. Fuck.” Alec swore as he push the gun pointed to his face.

 

M nod at Alec and Eve as a way of acknowledgment. Eve started explaining to him what Q-branch has told them. Alec is still curious what M did to his office.

 

“I placed trip wires and rigged it with land minds.”

 

Alec whistles in amazement. “I did not know M have fight in him.”   
  
Eve snorted at the statement as M glares at Alec. “I have served the military before I work for MI6 and I can kill a person if it is called for.” M snaps back.

 

Alec just shrug his shoulder and he exchanged a look with Eve to tell her to get M to Q-branch as he clear up the place. She got the message with a nod and left with M board the life down to the under belly of the building.

 

Alec tap his earpiece. “Q, M is on board the lift I5 with Eve. Secure the lift.”

 

“Got it” came his voice with sounds of quick tabs of keys. “Be safe Alec.”

 

“I always am.” a laughter could be heard from the other side of the line as Alec stalk the corridor. “I hope so.” But that response was not hear. 

  
  


****

 

The enemy pushed deeper into MI6 as they disable the agency slowly by taking away surveillance cameras. Now Q-branch is working blind with the few agents who are still running around. All the minions at their station although not in the field do their best to guide their designated agents as they clear out the building. So far they have lost three agents and the rest are doing a good job slowing down their advance.

 

Q chewed on his lips. He needs to make a decision soon. It is a losing fight with lives being lost, he need to make a choice that is the lesser evil. It is going to be a no-win situation if they continue moving ahead with this. Help is taking too long to arrive. The building shook again as another bomb went off.  _ ‘They deserve to live. I can’t keep pushing this and drag all of them to death.’  _ Q thought as his eyes fell on his minions who are trying to put up a brave front. 

 

The lift door open to let M and Eve into the Branch. The next lift admitted the medical staff to his branch and they all rush to tend the wounded. M approach Q who is still looking at the screen trying to figure out his next cause of action. 

 

“Situation report.” M commands them. R quickly explain the details of informations they could find out and M nods along with it. Eve quickly informs them that she has thrown all the files in the safe box provided by Q and locked it. Q, however was too preoccupied with his thoughts as he had an internal conversation himself on what to do next and barely heard a word.  

 

At that moment he comes to a decision. Q ran to his office to pull out a thick box he never hoped to ever see, as he straps a gun holster around his waist. The box contain the Doomsday protocol he created after Skyfall just in case situation like that happen again. His hope to never see this box is pushed away quickly. He need to keep all the people here safe.  Q slowly breathes out and drops the box on the metal table in the center of the branch with a loud clang. The entire branch silence and everyone turn to face him.

 

“Everyone we are evacuating this place. I am initiating D'Day protocols. R gather everyone to the area and open up the tunnel out of here. Everyone come here to take your maps. R, Eve and M take this.” Q starts hanging them small tablet. “You guys will be holding on to this. This will tell you when it is safe to come back here, this tablet is coded to your smart blood so only you can open it when needed. Those who are injured will leave first. This tunnel will lead you out to a safe house outside of London. Stay low for a few days until it is safe. Please surrender all your electronics with GPS functions, we need to keep the location safe in case things go south.”

 

Q hands minions boxes to collect all the devices to be destroyed. All of them drop their electronics into the box and follow R leading the way to the tunnel. M drops his phone and nod at him. “Good call Q.”

 

Eve hugs him quickly after dropping her devices as he say goodbye to him. Q hug back and promise to see her at the other side. It was a total lie but Q does not have the heart to tell her.

He pushes her away with a nod and he walks off to dump the devices into the burner. They need to move fast.

 

“Sir, Q! They are closing in on Q-branch!” shouts a minion who is monitoring the screen still.

 

R appears behind the minion. “How long can we hold?”

 

“15 minutes and nothing more.” he replies,the beeping of the agents’ vitals sounding in the background. 

 

Q nods at the minions at the station to send out message for all the clear the building. Q is glad this attack happened on the day with the least amount of people rather than the days with full building running. Each agents who are still out there reply their acknowledgment for the message. 

 

_ ‘Time to clear all out.’  _ Q gathers all the minions mending the stations and lead them away for their escape. Even to the last minute his branch still wants to stay behind to fight. “Leave you guys. Get to safety.” Q said as he rush the last minion into the tunnel. 

 

R is still lurking beside him unwilling to leave him. 

 

“Go now R, keep everyone safe. I have program the safe house to be the best place to keep everyone out of harm until this madness settles.” Q assures her but she is still frowning at him.

 

“I am serious leave R. As the quartermaster I will be seeing the clearance of this place until the last person leaves this place safely.” Q starts to push her into the tunnel. She refuse to budge, even to the very end she kept her promise she made to him about staying with him through all situation.

 

“Q, I can stay. Two heads are better than one, I am also in command.” R squeeze his shoulder. 

 

Q shook his head. He can’t let her stay when he is not even certain how situation will turn out. Q did a quick glance on his tablet. 

 

_ 5 more minutes until they reach Q-branch. _

 

“I will be fine R. Keep M safe. I will try to reach your location as soon as I can.” Q promise her in hope that she will leave. R saw through the lie but decides to listen. She squeeze him into a big hugs. When she let go tears could be seen welling in her eyes. Q push his emotions away, he can’t let her see him fear right now.

 

“See you soon Q. It is an honor serving with you. Don’t you dare die or I will personally make sure you will never have your peace even in death.” with that she ran into the tunnel. Q slam the button shut, watching her back disappear from the closing door. He open his tablet and press the button to scramble the codes to open this door again. He is proud he created this escape route that could not be open unless with his code, even if they did managed to open it they will never be able to use the tunnel as it is rigged to blow once the last person reach the other end. 

 

Now alone Q stand in the centre of the branch watching his many screens for changes. He now have to decide what would be the best to do next. He lets out a shaky breath. Here he is yet again just like Skyfall only difference is James is no longer here and he is most probably gonna leave this place with a few major wounds if he is lucky. He resigned himself to fate. All at that moment he felt his heartbeat in sadness. He missed him, he missed James. It might be the wrong time to think about James who broke his heart badly but he is no longer sure what is the best time to think about the agent with his uncertain future.

 

Q tapes in a few keys to pull out James’ location again. He just could not stop himself from doing this. James  is stable and he is now in Salzburg, Austria. Q imagine how beautiful Salzburg would look like now covered all over with snow,the beautiful lake from the postcards and videos he saw about the place. It is a pity he will never be able to see that place in person but he could only hope that if he did make it out of here he will be taking his much needed break and explore the world.

 

“Q! Open the lift door!! Let me in! Now!!” voice of Alec yelling could be heard from the intercorn with more sounds of gunfire and a wet sound. Q is not sure if he have shot someone or if he is having a fist fight but from the echo of sound it is coming from the lift stopped at his branch.

 

Q groan inwardly for forgetting Alec is still around and now he have to risk opening the lift he have shut down. Q causiciously walks to the lift and plaster himself to the side. He pulled out his tablet and tap the door open. Out tumble Alec along with a few more Spectra soldiers. Q taps to slam the lift door shut once more but a sharp pain seers through his thigh before he collapsed onto the floor. His tablet falling out of his hand sliding off a few distance away from him. Q struggle to reach for the tablet, he have to shut the branch from them if he want his plan to go well. He crawl as activity happens rapidly around him. Everytime anyone get near Q, Alec will jump in to keep them away. After much struggle Q finally managed to shut the lift door not before Alec threw in a grenade. Metal screeched and a loud clatter could be heard as the lift blew up. He is just glad that the walls of the lift shaft did not blow up along with the lift. 

 

“What was that for you imbecile!” Q screeched at Alec who was sheepishly smiling.

 

“Blowing their access to our location. What next Q? I am sure you have a plan.” Alec questions him as he dust off the dirt from his shoulder. It was a horrible attempt since both of them are already dirty and covered with cement dust. Q cough out from inhaling the dust and he winched soon after putting his foot down. In his adrenaline rush he have forgotten he had been shot, the pain finally coming back to him. His trousers is soaked in blood and he bite his lips to stop his pain from leaving him.

 

Alec took notice and scan his eyes over Q. “Oh shit Q. We need to stop that bleeding now.” Alec lower him to the floor ripping his left trouser leg off to check the wound.  Q winces when he saw the wound. They need to get out of there soon.

 

“Stop panicking Alec it will be fine as long as we can get out of here.” Q tried to lighten the mood.

 

“If we can get out of here without being killed from the situation we are in now.” Alec tighten a strap of  cloth on the leg of Q. Q yelp from the pain and let out a pained laugh.

 

"I was given the impression that you were unkillable? "

 

"I might be reckless but I still calculate my odds. That is James you are talking about when it comes to unkillable." Alec extracted a few guns from the dead men near them. 

 

Q frown and mumbles "And he is heartless too."

Alec cocked his eyebrow at Q for not catching it from being too busy checking the ammunition he is left with. Q just shook his head and asked to be lead to the centre of the branch. Q did a quick building scan and did a headcount of people. He is glad all those who work for MI6 are safe and only the enemy side is left in the building. Now he can reach part two of his plan - blow this hell hole down before it lands into enemy hands. He starts fiddling with the switches. Alec leaving him alone to guard the door to the branch. 

 

“Alec get away from that door, no one can get in here now once I have locked down the branch.” Q picked out two detonators.

 

Alec crosses the room easily to stand beside him peering from his shouler asking what the plan is. The monitor on the screen beep again with the profile of James popping up. Q scramble to shut it, a hint of blush gracing his pale cheeks. “You saw nothing.” Q hissed.

 

“I know Q.” Alec shrug.

 

“You do? How? What do you mean you know?!” Q demanded, his heart racing. He hope hard Alec has not told James anything.

 

Alec raise his hands in surrender. “Q listen. I have not told anyone it is not my secret to tell. And as a friend and brother of James, I will say it is his lost for breaking your heart.”Q slowly slide himself down on to the nearest chair and he let out a sigh. Another person who pitied him for falling for James. 

 

Q let himself feel, realizing there is no point holding it  when the future is uncertain. At that moment the dam holding back his emotions broke, “I  never planned to fall for him this badly. Always thought it might be a puppy love ever since I saw him. Deep down I knew he must not be as heartless as how people say he is from how much he love Vesper. But James came back broken after her death. Part of me is glad he came back broken, I have always been told that I am good in fixing broken things. I wanted to comfort him. Sure I was a little jealous of her for getting his whole heart, enough to make him want to leave MI6 for a life with her and later just dropping him. I wanted to love him as much as I could but things never did work out and the timings. Just when I want to tell him he will soon be gone like as if he knew I was about to bare myself to him. I guess he is just a heartbreaker as everyone says from the string of women he took in every mission. I was stupid for running to him everytime he calls for me thinking maybe just maybe he will finally see me as me. Me who have always love him but I was so wrong. I should have given him up ever since Switzerland but no, I still though he is coming to me when he came down here one last time and I wanted to confess my feeling to him. Turns out he just want his car. I could feel my heartbreak at that moment. I tried to let him go, but just because I let him go does not mean I wanted to do so. I tired to get over him but why can’t I just get over him? Why does it hurt so much?”

 

Q was choking back tears by the time Alec brought him into a hug. “Ever since you first joined MI6?” 

 

“Yes ever since then. Always.” Q sobs into Alec’s shoulder, his lips trembling. He finally let himself feel fear of the situation he is in now, sadness from always never being anyone’s choice  and emotion he surpassed all this months trying to appear strong. He was barely holding on and he could feel the crack in his mask but everyday he will still wear his mask and hope no one will ever see the mess he is under it. Q felt light finally getting to let it out. It felt like the weight on his chest that is crushing him is finally over. 

 

Q push himself away from Alec and wipe away his stray tears with his sweater sleeves. “We still have an organization to save. We can talk about emotions later Alec once all of this is over. Let’s finish this before it is too late.”

Loud chain explosions could be heard from the escape tunnel of the branch.  _ ‘They are all at the safe house now.’  _ Q let himself smile at that knowledge.

 

Q start pulling out two detonators and plug them into the system. Alec quietly watch him wondering how could a guy this young be able to bounce back so fast after all the emotions he had moments ago even with the knowledge that they might not even make it out. Q shoot him away to the other side to gather up the emergency supply bag so that they can escape soon. Alec shrug and left for the bag Q was referring to

 

The real reason why  Q made Alec leave was due to the face that he realize one of the detonator is no longer working as intended. Now he have to figure out how to set off the bomb. Q got down to tearing the detonator apart as he worked on it, he need to make it work. Two explosives have to go off if he want his plan to work.The floor shook again, Q grip onto his bench. He needed to work fast before they get in. The door will not hold for long at the rate it is going. Alec raced back with his bag and place it down. He turn himself to the source of the noise with guns poised. 

 

“Q, we need to move soon. Planning to tell me me what is the plan?” Alec questions as he train his gun at the area. Q ignore his as he carefully place the chip back into the detonator. The system beep back onto his screen but there is a major issue. The transmitter to blow up the branch could not be set off unless it is done at a short distance. One of them will have to stay back to set it off.

 

“Alec there will be to bombs going off. First will be data wiper that will wipe away all available datas in this building expect those kept in my specially built safe to protect it. We will face a 5 minutes black out until all system will reboot. Once the electricity is back and rebooted we will take the cart out of here before we blow the branch up. We can’t let any of our technology land in their hands. We have too many top secret research to let them see it, it will cost us greatly.” Q ran to a wall and pushed a panel to reveal a  four-seater shuttle.

 

Alec stuck his head in to take a look. “I did not know Q branch had this.”   
  
Q grins as he sat down in one of the seat and motion Alec to take a seat too.

 

“It is a pneumatic tube shuttle to move people in and out of the building in a high speed. It goes to different places around London depending on where I set it on this little thing.” Q happily wave his tablet before he click a button to strap all of them in. Alec make a sound of being impressed at the explanation Q gave him. The little boffin is indeed resourceful almost to the point of prescient some would think.

 

Q set back and started to play a song from his tablet. The soft strum of the guitar started from the speakers of the branch and the shutter. Alec raise his eyebrow at his choice and concentrated on the lyrics. 

 

“I don’t know you like Eric Clapton. Why would you go for this song?” 

 

“Oh Alec you don’t even know my what kind of books I love to read. This song is good, I have always love this song. Ah... [Blue Eye Blue](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_QUQqlUuXU) . The same eyes colour as him. His eyes that hold so much emotions in it. How I wish I could see him smile more, they are beautiful.  It was you who made my blue eyes blue.” Q started singing along to the lyrics as he rest himself into the comfortable seat and he click the first detonator to start the information wipe. A sharp ear piercing beep started and the entire place was thrown into darkness.

 

“That is the first bomb? Now my ears are ringing.” Alec winced. 

 

Q knew he had to act fast in getting out the cart before Alec discovered his true plan. He knows the buckles can be unlatched manually during the power outage. He slowly reach over to Alec and pressed his tie pin into his hand. “Can you hold onto this for a while? Give it to him.” Alec was about to ask what it was until the lights came back on and he realize he is alone in the shuttle. The door of the shuttle slid shut with a hiss and Q is standing outside with the other detonator.

 

“What are you doing Q! Let me out!” Alec roar.

 

Q lightly press his hand to the glass panel and tap his tablet to speak. “I’m sorry Alec. We need one person to stay behind to blow this place up. I decided to be the one. As the quartermaster of MI6 it is my responsibility to keep everyone safe, even you.” Q smiles sadly as initial song continued playing softly in the background. Alec is angry, he felt betrayed by Q for letting him live. It is not the time for the boffin to die, he still have a lot to live for in life. 

 

“Let me out now Q. Please.” Alec pleaded.

 

Q shook his head. “No Alec you try to be safe. This country need you alot more than a crazy scientist. They can always find another me to be the next Q but it will be hard to replace you who have a lot more experience in the field. I am just tired of watching all my agents and people around me die.”

 

“Q don’t do this.”

 

Q would not budge. He have made up his mind.Q is afraid, he is afraid to die. He does not want to go yet but he decided to make peace with the idea and now he is looking at an angry red face Alec screaming at him to let him go. Deep down in his Q really hoped this was not the outcome but he got to do everything in his power to keep MI6 safe.

 

“Alec listen. Listen to me!” Q snaps hoping to stop the angry Russian. Alec glares at him gritting his teeth holding back the swear words he was about to let out.

 

Q sighs out, “Spectre will be breaking down that last door down soon so listen carefully. Your duty now is to keep everyone safe in that safe house safe. This is my last command as your Quartermaster. Promise me you will try not to give the new quartermaster too much trouble as you did with me.” Alec nod at that one last request.

 

Q let himself laugh at the thought of Alec and James terrorizing the new quartermaster but it is a pity he will never see it in person. Even close to death Q had a lot of regret in life but he is happy with his life so far. He is the youngest quartermaster and that is the title no one can take away from him. He had the most number of petitions under his belt, that is a record he is very proud of. And he is happy he have loved although it has never been returned but he still love with all his heart.

 

“Another thing,don't tell him all the emotions I have spilled to you. It would be best if he never knew. Not that it would matter to him anyway, why would he even care. But please tell him this.  Tell him that I wish he will find happiness one day that will fill his heart full of love. ” The door to the lift blew open.

 

Alec eyes widen as he claw at his buckle, he still have time to get Q in and out of here. Q shook his head at him. Before Alec could say anything Q hit the button to spirit the shuttle away from Q branch. The shuttle shot off from the branch. Q’s fate is sealed, he will not make it out. 

 

“Good bye Alec. It was good knowing both you and James. See you again one day.” Gunshot could be heard and a loud sound of explosion follows closely behind. The tunnel shook from it and smoke started to fill the tunnel as the shuttle speeds through the tubes. Alec let himself weep for Q who have died. No one could survive an explosion that big. He felt pain and sadness to see Q be gone within a few seconds. He rub his fingers along the tie pin Q left him to be handed to James, it is ironic to see a head of a stag on the pin. He wonder what Q must have been thinking during the last moment, most probably James. Alec hope Q goes fast. He does not deserve to die in agony after the sacrifice he made for them.

 

The shuttle came to a stop at last. Time must have passed him by as he was deep in thought. He have been sent to a safe house. The minions rush forward to open the shutter most likely hoping to see their overlord but Alec could not bring himself to tell them Q stayed behind. R started tearing up when she only saw Alec exiting the cart. The poor lady dropped to the floor overwhelmed by her emotions, they are close to each other and like two siblings alwaysing having each other backs. Everyone went silent, some crying at the loss of all those who died in the attack. Alec clutch his chest feeling the delicate tie pin in his breast pocket.

 

It was a great loss for them all. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Do leave a Kudos and comment! Stay tune for my partner's addition to the fic! Cheers!


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